Complicated Grief – Symptoms and Causes
Understanding Grief and Bereavement
Grief is a natural response to losing someone important in your life. Most people go through a period of sadness, numbness, guilt, and anger after a loss.
With time, these feelings usually become less intense, allowing a person to accept the loss and move forward.
Some individuals experience what experts call complicated grief or persistent complex bereavement disorder. In these cases, the painful emotions remain intense and overwhelming even after significant time has passed.
This makes it difficult for the person to recover and continue with their own life.
Everyone grieves differently. The grief process typically includes several phases:
- Recognizing and accepting the reality of the loss
- Experiencing the emotional pain that comes with grief
- Adapting to life without the deceased person
- Forming new relationships while honoring the memory of the lost loved one
These phases don’t follow a strict timeline or order. People move through them at different speeds and may revisit certain phases multiple times.
If you find yourself unable to progress through these stages more than a year after losing someone, you might be experiencing complicated grief. Professional help can be valuable in these situations.
With proper support, you can work toward finding acceptance and peace while honoring your loved one’s memory.
Signs of Complicated Grief
Grief normally starts to fade over time. But with complicated grief, the pain stays strong or gets worse. It’s like being stuck in deep mourning that doesn’t heal.
Common signs of complicated grief include:
- Strong, ongoing pain and constant thoughts about the loss
- Being unable to focus on anything except death
- Either avoiding or becoming fixated on reminders of the loved one
- Continuous yearning for the person who died
- Struggling to accept the reality of the death
- Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected
- Feeling bitter about the loss
- Believing life has lost its meaning
- Finding it hard to trust others
- Unable to enjoy life or remember good times with loved one
You might also:
- Have trouble with daily activities
- Pull away from friends and family
- Feel depressed, guilty, or blame yourself
- Think you could have prevented the death
- Feel that life isn’t worth living
- Wish you had died too
When to Get Medical Help
Reach out to a doctor or mental health professional if your grief remains intense and affects your ability to function for more than a year after your loved one’s death.
If You’re Thinking About Suicide
Sometimes, people with complicated grief consider ending their lives. If you’re having suicidal thoughts, tell someone you trust right away.
If you feel you might act on these thoughts, call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
You can also call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7.
Causes
The exact cause of complicated grief remains unknown. Several factors may play a role in its development:
- Biological factors – Natural chemical imbalances in the body.
- Genetic predisposition – Inherited traits from family.
- Personal temperament – Individual personality characteristics.
- Environmental influences – Life circumstances and experiences.
Like many other mental health conditions, complicated grief likely stems from a combination of these elements rather than a single cause.
Risk Factors
Complicated grief tends to affect women more than men and is more common in older people. Several factors can raise your chances of experiencing this condition:
- Sudden or violent deaths, such as car accidents, murders, or suicides
- Losing a child
- Having a close or dependent bond with the person who died
- Lacking social connections or support networks
- Previous mental health issues such as depression, separation anxiety, or PTSD
Other risk factors include difficult childhood experiences (abuse or neglect) and significant life challenges like financial problems.
Health Effects
Complicated grief can harm your physical, mental and social well-being. Without proper treatment, several problems may develop.
Depression and suicidal thoughts are common serious outcomes. People may also experience anxiety disorders, including PTSD, and significant sleep problems.
Physical health risks increase too, including heart disease, cancer and high blood pressure. Daily activities, relationships and work performance often suffer. Many people turn to alcohol, nicotine or drugs to cope with their feelings.
Prevention
Early action after loss can help avoid complicated grief. Seeking counseling shortly after losing someone may be beneficial. This is especially true for those with higher risk factors.
Caregivers looking after terminally ill loved ones should consider getting support before the death occurs. This can help them prepare emotionally.
Expressing grief openly is important. Talking about feelings and allowing tears to flow helps process sadness naturally. Though painful, experiencing grief fully often allows healing to begin.
Finding support systems makes a significant difference:
- Family and friends who listen without judgment.
- Community support groups focused on specific types of loss.
- Faith communities that offer comfort and rituals.
- Online communities connect people with similar experiences.
Professional help provides additional tools. Bereavement counseling introduces healthy coping strategies early, preventing negative thought patterns from becoming entrenched. Counselors can teach techniques to manage overwhelming emotions and provide a safe space for expressing difficult feelings.
Maintaining physical health also supports emotional healing:
- Getting adequate sleep
- Eating nutritious meals
- Engaging in gentle exercise
- Limiting alcohol consumption
Remember that prevention focuses on processing grief naturally, not avoiding it entirely.
